The Autobiography of Mark Twain

The Autobiography of Mark Twain
Ed. Charles Neider
New York: Harper and Brothers, Publishers
1919 (1959)

Why read it? Since this autobiography will be published after he is dead, Twain says that he is writing it from the grave and he will say things that he would not say if he were alive. His plan is to write about the first topic that interests him and then to go on to the next topic of interest to him and so on and so on. His insights into life might be cynical, but they are half truths and therefore half right.

Sample ideas from the book:
Twain's mother felt sorry for the Devil because he was the only sinner no one ever prayed for. There are two kinds of slaves, those who assent to it [i.e., slaves to drink] and those who are slaves by compulsion; the former is baser. His brother was what we would call today a manic-dpressive or bi-polar. Gov. Nye of the Territory of Nevada could remember the name and face of every person he met; as a result, he could do anything he wanted, with their complete support.

Twain was a good speller, but he wasn't proud of it because it was a talent, not an acquirement. In Biblical times, committing a sin resulted in the extermination of the whole surrounding nation. Twain didn't feel good about himself and therefore he didn't feel good about the human race. Repetition is a powerful ingredient in humor. Everyone who speaks and writes commits plagiarism every time he speaks and writes. Used to introduce himself as if somebody else were the lecturer; the trick worked until the newspapers printed it.

Mark Twain's view of life: "A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle for bread; they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean advantages over each other; age creeps upon them; infirmities follow; shames and humiliations bring down their prides and their vanities; those they love are taken from them and the joy of life is turned to aching grief; the burden of pain, care, misery grows heavier year by year; at length ambition is dead; pride is dead; vanity is dead; longing for release in their place; it comes at last---the only unpoisoned gift earth ever had for them--and they vanish from a world where they were of no consequence; where they achieved nothing; where they were a mistake and a failure and a foolishness; where they have left no sign that they have existed--a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever; than another myriad takes their place and copies all they did and goes along the same profitless road and vanishes as they vanished---to make room for another and another and a million other myriads to follow the same arid path through the same arid desert and accomplish what the first myriad and all the myriads that came after it accomplished--nothing!"

Quote: "It is my conviction that the human race is no proper target for harsh words and bitter criticisms, and that the only justifiable feeling toward it is compassion; it did not invent itself, and it had nothing to do with the planning of its weak and foolish character."