Letters of Jonathan Oldstyle. Wasington Irving.

The Letters of Jonathan Oldstyle
Washington Irving
New York: Literary Classics of the United States, Inc.
1802-1803 (1983)

Why read it? The years are 1802 and 1803 in America. The commentator is Jonathan Oldstyle, an older man, a conservative, someone who does not like innovation on old habits. He sends letters to the editor, commenting on the fashions of the young, on the foppishness of young men, on the habits of playgoers, most of which modern readers will recognize in the movieplexes of today—except, for cell phones—and on the contemporary methods of dueling when pistols replaced swords, and other modes of dueling are not quite what Abraham Lincoln used, cow flop, but are also designed to assure that no one is seriously hurt. It’s all in good fun. But since your reviewer is an old man—74 years old—he is sympathetic to the older point of view toward contemporary society and its youth and the manners of those who engage in social functions. If I were still teaching, I would set my young scholars to imitating the style of Mr. Oldstyle in studying today’s fashions, youth and social gatherings.

Some sample ideas:
Fashions and marriage. “…the lady was seen, with the most bewitching languor, reclining on the arm of an extremely attentive beau, who, with a long cane…was carefully employed in removing every stone, stick or straw that might impede the progress of his tottering companion, whose high-heel’d shoes just brought the point of her toes to the ground.” “The wife now considers herself as totally independent—will advance her own opinions, without hesitation, though directly opposite to his—will carry on accounts of her own and will even have secrets of her own with which she refuses to entrust him.” “What husband is there but will look back with regret, to the happy days of female subjection.”

Dueling. “…how, on a fair summer’s morning, the knight of the Golden Goose met the knight of the Fiery Fiddle; how the knight of the Fiery Fiddle exclaimed in lofty tones ‘whoever denies that Donna Fiddleosa is the most peerless beauty in the universe, must have the strength of this arm!’ how they both engaged with dreadful fury; and, after fighting till sunset, the knight of the Fiery Fiddle fell, martyr to his constancy; murmuring in melodious accents, with his latest breath, the beloved name of Fiddleosa.” “…but in general our fashionable duelists are content with only one discharge; and then, either they are poor shots, or their triggers pull hard, or they shut the wrong eye, or some other cause intervenes, so that it is ten, aye, twenty chances to one in their favor.”

Theater. “…the audience, who, I assure you, furnish no inconsiderable part of the entertainment [at the play]." “I had got in the neighborhood of a very obliging personage, who had seen the play before, and was kindly anticipating every scene, and informing those about him what was to take place….” “They even strive to be inattentive….propose a game or two of cards in the theater during the performance….” “As to the dull souls who go for the sake of the play, why, if their attention is interrupted by the conversation of their neighbors, they must bear it with patience—it is a custom authorized by fashion. Persons who go for the purpose of chatting with their friends are not to be deprived of their amusement.” “…that the critics are the most ‘presumptuous,’ ‘arrogant,’ ‘malevolent,’ ‘illiberal,’ ‘ungentleman-like,’ ‘malignant,’ ‘raucous,’ ‘villainous,’ ‘ungrateful,’ ‘crippled,’ ‘invidious,’ ‘detracting,’ ‘fabricating,’ ‘personal,’ ‘dogmatical,’ ‘illegitimate,’ ‘tyrannical,’ ‘distorting,’ spindle-shanked moppets, designing villains and upstart ignorants.”

Quote: “Nothing is more intolerable to an old person than innovation on old habits.”

Quote: “…for this I can give no other excuse, than that it is the privilege of old folks to be tiresome….”